


You Should Have Stayed Out of Scotland

by serendipityspeaks



Series: Short Stories [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aliens, Animals, Based on a Tumblr Post, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Earth is Space Australia, Human, Humans Are Weird, I Blame Tumblr, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Science Fiction, Scotland, Tumblr, Tumblr Memes, humanity fuck yeah, space orcs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-19 04:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19968412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipityspeaks/pseuds/serendipityspeaks
Summary: This is earth, post-conquest.  The aliens have won, but there's one thing they weren't prepared for: the animals that live on this hell world.  The earth protects its own.





	You Should Have Stayed Out of Scotland

**Author's Note:**

> This is copy and paste of my addition to the bottom of this tumblr thread: https://throwawayforbeautiful.tumblr.com/post/158915693953/bigwordsandsharpedges-systlin
> 
> The thread is part of the earth is space Australia/humans are space orcs/fyeah humanity sort of genre and is about the idea that humans were easily conquered, but the aliens weren't prepared for everything ELSE on the planet. The thread itself is really great and you should all give it a read, even though it's long. There's definitely some great writing on it, and it progresses through a storyline whenever someone adds to it. And yeah, that is one of my tumblrs, but it's just my writing Tumblr and I post more here than there. I don't mind it getting out there tho. :)
> 
> Oh! And if this already exists as a fandom on AO3 could someone let me know what it's called? I couldn't find it. x.x

Quig’thip was, well, not precisely lazing at their post, but definitely not paying as much attention as the surroundings dictated; when a loud screaming noise caught their attention. Their head snapped up towards the sound, an eerie keen coming from the forests nearest the small outpost’s wall. The famed fog of this island was out this morning, and they could barely make out the trees. 

Even though they couldn’t see the source of the screaming, wailing sound, they knew better than to trust that it was benign. They sounded the alarm immediately, calling to their fellow defenders. They heard the sounds of the soldiers scrambling behind them in the open yard of the outpost seconds later. They weren’t entirely worried, after all, the yard and outpost were surrounded by meter-and-a-half high fencing and surely none of the hellbeasts of this land could jump that high. 

The keening was close now, the loudness of it almost piercing their ear membranes, and it was now accompanied deep, thunderous rumbling. They squinted at the fog and the trees, searching for the source of the sound. 

When it finally burst out of the tree line, it was like nothing they could possibly have prepared for. Tall, dark, four legged creatures covered in metal were running out the tree line, fog clinging to them as they ran directly at the outpost. As they watched the invaders coming on, they realized the source of the wail - there were humans astride these creatures. The one in the front was carrying a long pole with a strange piece of cloth on it - Red with many horizontal and vertical stripes in varying colors and thicknesses. 

That one, the one with the flag, his bellow reached even to the watchtower, “FOR SCOTLAND!”

Humans. That explained the metal, these must be robotic modes of transportation that the natives kept hidden. Well, they’d be no match for the energy weapons, and they’d never get those heavy things over the walls. Quig’thip was comforted by that thought, relieved that they weren’t real animals.

Until the first shot was fired, and it fizzled against the surface of the metal, not even leaving a scratch. In disbelief they used their HUD to zoom in on the oncoming horde. There was nothing on this planet like that, how had it deflected the energy blast? The metal wasn’t smooth and even, it was pieced together, and all too late they realized that the humans had scavenged the metal from fallen warriors. Their first assessment was correct - those weren’t robots at all, but creatures wearing armor. The humans were wearing it too. 

Still, there were the walls. There was no way those huge, heavy creatures would make it over the walls. They clung to that thought until the first of the charge jumped, easily sailing over what now seemed like laughably low walls. The beast reared up and kicked the nearest defender in the chest, sending them flying back against the wall of the outpost. They didn’t get up. 

Another defender fell to the ground, blood pouring from a bite. Why wasn’t their blood coagulating? It should have stopped bleeding. Was there yet another creature on this accursed planet that carried poison in its mouth? Or were they simply more vulnerable to the microbes in its mouth?

The rest of the human-beasts made it easily over the wall. On those beasts they towered over Quig’thip’s comrades. Worse, the huge animals seemed to be obeying commands, and had all to much intelligence in their eyes for Quig’thip’s liking. Combined with the deadly effects of the animal’s hard feet - which Quig’thip realized were shod with metal - and their powerful bites on the defender’s unprepared anatomy, the outpost was devastated. They stayed as long as they could before hitting eject. The tower doubled as an emergency escape pod, and they were taken back to the nearest orbiting ship. 

On the ship, after reporting to their superior, they were tasked with questioning a native. One of the other soldiers recognized the strange animals from the outpost, they’d seen them in the southwest of a country previously called “America”, and pointed Quig’thip towards a prisoner from that part of the world. 

“I demand to know what this is!,” they said in the rough speech of the humans from that part of the world, holding up a hologram taken by the outpost’s emergency recording system. 

The female in front of him gave what they’d come to know as a smile. They weren’t proficient enough in human body language to tell nuance, but something about this look made them distinctly uncomfortable, “Someone called the cavalry. Literally.” 

“I don’t know what that means, female. Explain your colloquialism,” they were getting frustrated now, nerves frayed by the loss of their fellow soldiers. 

“Did your commander tell you about what they ran into in Arizona?,” she asked, her voice sounding suspiciously reasonable. 

“The large four-legged pack herbivores? Yes. What of it?,” According to the commander, they’d been merciless with the squadron that had been caught in the path of the herd, trampling them to death, and biting whole tentacles off of those that weren’t trampled. They’d been listed as a Class Eleven threat due to their size and strength. Was it possible that the humans had domesticated them?

“Well,” she said, her disturbing smile widening, “Those ones were wild. These ones work _with_ us. You think our wild animals are bad? You’ve seen nothing, C’thulhu. Our domesticated ones are worse. One of them has been shaped by people for thirty thousand years. We call that one ‘man’s best friend’. And I can’t wait until the raptor handlers get ahold of you. Or even the corvids. They’ll pick the eyestalks off your head _because it’s fun_. You may have taken our planet, but you’ll never keep it.”

Raptor handlers? They’d thought all of those reptiles were dead, surely she was lying. She sat back on her cot, and it was obvious she’d say no more. At this point, the invective that came out of their speaking gland was a human one they’d heard that somehow felt strangely appropriate, “Fuck this planet, and the horse it rode in on.” 


End file.
